Okay, this is for all of you mothers with boys.  Only you will understand my night tonight.

We’d gotten home late, and I was trying to change and feed Cole (my 6 month old) and prod Carson (6 years) to get ready for bed.  I think I’m usually a pretty easy-going mom.  I love creativity and spontaneity, but I also need a little order in my life.

Tonight, was not a night of order.

As I was changing Cole, Carson flew by Cole’s room, headed to the restroom.

“Mom! I’m pretty sure I had an accident!” (pause)

“Yep, Mom, I did.”

Sure, enough, my son had spent too much time selecting his bathroom reading material and hadn’t made it to the restroom in time.  After not handling it well, I told him to run some bath water and and get cleaned up.  I reached to hand him his “man soap,” as he calls it (Sauve men’s body wash), and it was empty.  I had just bought it.  He informed me that when he took his last bath, he used it and the other stuff (my slightly expensive Aveno baby wash for Cole) to make stinky soup.

I hadn’t recovered yet from the gift in his underpants, so this new information didn’t settle well.  I told him he was buying his next “man soap,” and I left quickly.

While feeding Cole, Carson came walking in the kitchen completely naked.  He held up very red hands and chuckled, “Mom, this is crazy.  I filled the bathtub with cold water.  I can’t even get in.”

I just looked at him.  I was at a loss.

When I could speak, I didn’t use good Mommy words.  I found out he had filled the tub with freezing water and had been holding his hands in the cold water to see how long he could stand it.

After this, I lost it.  As I lectured about conserving water and obeying the first time and everything else a mom says when she’s had enough, I heard this little voice, “Mom, just think.  You won’t have to deal with me after Wednesday.”  On Wednesday, he was leaving to visit his Mawmaw for a few days.  Now, this should have melted my mommy heart, causing me to wrap him in my arms, tickle him and laugh till we cried.  You know, like one of those sappy Hallmark movies we all watch around the holidays.

I failed.  I was watching The Weather Channel.  Early season snow storm coverage can make you do nasty, nasty things.  I told him to suck it up and quit being ridiculous.  They don’t say those things on the Hallmark movies.

I sent him to bed and told him not to dare open his door, unless he was dying.

As I sat on the couch, in the quiet living room, rocking Cole to sleep, a little six year old’s words from earlier came drifting back to me.  “Mom, you won’t have to deal with me after Wednesday.”

Sobs.  Instant tears and sobs.  I quickly put Cole in his bed and rushed to Carson’s room, hoping he was still awake.  Of course, for once, he had obeyed right away.  He was sound asleep.  I couldn’t stand it.  I crawled under the covers and wrapped my arms around him.  He stirred a little and I told him I loved him.  He said he loved me too, but fell back asleep.  I laid there a few minutes hugging him and thanking the Lord that I get to deal with him everyday.

As I gently pulled my arms from around him, and laid his head back on his pillow, he stirred.  I smoothed his hair, “Carson, you’re a good boy, and I love you.  I’m so sorry, Buddy.”

He looked at me with confused eyes and said in a groggy voice, “For what?”

Hmmm…not exactly what I was going for, but I guess I should be glad I didn’t scar him for life.   I shook my head, covered him up, kissed his cheek and quietly shut the bedroom door behind me.

It was time to go learn how to refine my mommy tactics.  It was time for a Hallmark movie.