Why is it that despite the wonderful, God-ordained experiences I’ve had in my life, I constantly find myself zeroing in on the one negative road block in the path. You know, tiny things like… the Red Sea? In the middle of a rant, listing all the stressors in my life: selling our house and moving, my son starting Kindergarten, me getting ready to teach 3rd grade again this year, and the biggie–training my technologically-challenged mind to learn how to satisfy the demands of publishers who are deciding whether my first novel is print-worthy, I realized that I have repeated history, yet again. I had donned my sandals and picked up my crooked walking staff. I was standing in my tent’s door, my back to the recently crossed Red Sea, ankle deep in white manna, crying and complaining about the overwhelming, impossible obstacles before me. I am the Children of Israel, greatly blessed, but never satisfied.
Wasn’t it just 3 weeks ago that the first closed door to reaching my dream of publishing my first novel (The Light in Bailey’s Harbor, in case you’re wondering) was just opened? Hadn’t I worked for 17 years on this book? I would just like to point out that I’m really not as pathetic as that sounds. I did have school, college, a career in teaching, and the needs of a family to fill my time a bit. This was an amazing dream come true! So, why was I curled in a fetal position–figuratively, anyway, yelling Nancy Kerrigan’s famous line, “Why?, Why? Why?”
Just as quickly as the pity party began, so too, did the Lord’s still small voice, whispering to me the remembrance of his faithfulness:
-You left your home of 26 years…but, I brought you to Tennessee to allow you to be a part of founding Cornerstone Academy.
-You left your church and all of your friends and family…but, I blessed you with a loving church, cherished friends, and brought your family to you.
-You thought I had forgotten your helplessness when I blessed you with a child with a cleft lip and palate…but, I was reminding you that you aren’t in control of life, and I orchestrated specialists and surgeons to mend your little one’s broken smile.
-You worked on writing a book for 17 years, wondering why I gave you such a gift…but, I opened the first door that will soon lead you to sharing Me with the world through your writing.
As the realization of this began to wash over me, once again I thought, hmm, God does know what he’s doing. I sheepishly uncurled, dried my tears, and began folding up my Israeli tent. I may have a few more deserts to cross, but something tells me that my God is faithful and able to deliver me.